# 7 The Real Meaning of Authenticity: A journey back to self
Authenticity. Is it just another overused buzzword floating around the self-help and wellness space? Or is it something much more profound, something we’re all deeply craving?
At its core, authenticity is the quality of being real, genuine, and true. Not false. Not a performance. Not a carefully curated mask. When we look beyond the dictionary definition, authenticity becomes a deeply spiritual practice - one that invites us to come home to ourselves.
So What Does It Really Mean to Be Authentic?
As spiritual beings having a human experience, authenticity is about being true to ourselves - our essence, our values, our passions, our quirks, our truth. It’s about releasing the pressure to be anything or anyone else. It’s about honesty - with ourselves and with others - and about taking radical responsibility for the impact of our words, actions, and presence in the world.
But let’s be honest: authenticity is not always easy.
As someone who observes human behaviour (I’m such a people watcher!!) and has walked the path of self-inquiry, I’ve come to this truth: Being authentic is hard work.
We’ve been taught to people-please in order to fit in. We subtly (or not-so-subtly) shape-shift to match our environments. We embellish our stories or mute our opinions to seem more knowledgeable, likable, or attractive. This isn’t weakness - it’s survival. At our core, we are tribal. We long for connection and acceptance. And sometimes, that longing pulls us away from our truth.
So the question becomes: How do we stay true to ourselves while also navigating the very real human need to belong?
1. Why Authenticity Matters — To the Soul and the Nervous System
Authenticity is alignment - not just with our outer life, but with our inner world.
From a spiritual lens, when we’re out of alignment, we feel it as soul friction. It shows up as anxiety, restlessness, disconnection, even burnout. It’s the body’s way of telling us: You’re not being true to who you are.
From a neuroscience perspective, the picture is just as powerful.
Every time we mask our truth, suppress an emotion, or abandon ourselves to fit in, our nervous system registers it as stress. Over time, this creates a chronic state of dysregulation. However, when we choose authenticity - even in small moments - we signal to our nervous system: It’s safe to be me.
This process of choosing authenticity, over and over again, actually rewires the brain. Through neuroplasticity, we begin forming new neural pathways that support truth-telling, boundaries, and presence. With practice, our system learns that being real isn’t just safe - it’s healing.
2. The Layers of Inauthenticity: Where They Come From
We’re not born inauthentic. We become inauthentic through conditioning.
From childhood, we’re shaped by the expectations of family, culture, school systems, gender roles, religion, and society at large. We learn what parts of us are “acceptable” and what parts are “too much.” Over time, we hide the messy, loud, weird, emotional, or intuitive parts to stay safe or loved.
Then there’s trauma. Trauma often teaches us to mask, to shrink, or to perform. It teaches us that survival sometimes means abandoning the self.
And then there’s the digital world - where curated highlight reels on social media often reward performance over presence. This can leave us even more disconnected from our real, raw, beautiful selves.
3. Authenticity is a Practice, Not a Destination
Let this land deeply: You’re not either authentic or inauthentic.
You’re human. And authenticity is a practice.
Some days, you’ll feel completely aligned. Other days, you’ll catch yourself slipping into old patterns. That’s okay. This journey isn’t about perfection - it’s about awareness and choice.
It’s also about discernment: learning to distinguish between your true self and the self you’ve absorbed through years of conditioning. Sometimes this means shedding layers. Sometimes it means embracing parts of yourself you’ve long ignored.
4. How to Cultivate Authenticity: Practical Tools
Here are a few practices I’ve found helpful in reconnecting with my authenticity:
Daily Check-ins: Ask, Am I being true to myself in this moment?
Journaling Prompts: Try, Who am I when no one is watching? or What am I pretending not to know?
Breathwork & Somatic Practices: These help you release stored tension from the body and reconnect to the wisdom beneath the masks.
Boundaries: Saying no when you mean no is a radical act of authenticity.
Value Alignment: Identify your top 3 core values. Then reflect - Is the way I’m living aligned with what matters most to me?
5. My Own Story of Reclaiming Truth
There was a time in my life when I looked polished and put-together on the outside - but on the inside, I felt disconnected and disoriented. I had shaped myself into what I thought others needed me to be. I was successful by external standards, but lost in my soul.
It wasn’t until I started peeling back the layers, asking harder questions, and learning to sit with discomfort, that I began to hear my real voice again.
Reclaiming my authenticity meant setting boundaries, having hard conversations, letting go of certain relationships, and being okay with not being everyone’s favourite. What I gained was peace, clarity, and a feeling of wholeness I had never known before.
6. Authenticity in Relationships
Being authentic doesn’t mean you’ll always be accepted, but it does mean the connections you do have will be real.
When we’re real, we give others permission to be real too. That kind of presence is magnetic. It draws in your people - the ones who love you for you, not for who you’ve pretended to be.
Yes, there may be grief in losing people who no longer resonate with your truth. But there’s also deep joy in finding people who see and celebrate your essence.
7. Coming Home to You
Here’s what I want to leave you with:
Authenticity is the deepest form of self-love.
It’s not always comfortable. It’s not always well-received. But it’s always worth it.
And even in the moments when we forget, when we slip back into old patterns or play small, we can return. Again and again, we can come back home to ourselves.
Because you - just as you are - are enough.
Check out my Podcast - Episode 3 where I explore a little deeper on this topic.